It’s been a while between blog posts. Why? It was time to stop, look around and listen for a while. To recalibrate myself.

And during my self-imposed silence, I have spent a fair bit of time on social media – mainly just watching to see what people were talking about … and more importantly how they were talking about it.

And there is one of the trends that I observed that I am still trying to come to grips with. It is the increase in vitriolic, bitchy, no-holds barred comments by adults  about other adults. You can see it most when they discuss politics or the latest reality TV shows.

No longer do people discuss the merits of a policy or the quality of a performance. What is discussed is the personality, the hair, the make-up, the clothes … and not in a nice way, but in a way that makes “Mean Girls” seem like Snow White. For example, last night during “The Voice”, one Facebook debate started with how much people disliked the personality and voice of  one of the judges and progressed to include discussions of how a bullet would fix things.

We see it regularly when a female politician makes any form of public announcement – it is regularly greeted with catcalls and the slavering of hounds baying for blood. I know I have already advised both of my girls not to even consider politics as a career – it is now only for people with hearts and hides of stone. Anyone who truly cares, or has even the hint of softness and gentleness is seen as fair game (no matter which side of the political fence you sit on).

And no aspect of online life seems off-limits. Businesses and newspaper reports have always attracted their fair share of Trolls. But lately it seems as if the Trolls have taken over the building, leaving few in their wake.

So what? So what if people blow off a bit of steam? Isn’t it just harmless gossip between friends? Aren’t they just saying what everyone is really thinking anyway?

Martin Lindstrom in his book Brandwashed reported that “72% of people believed the first source of a story was more authentic than subsequent tellings”. So this means that people tend to believe the first thing they hear about someone or something (positive or negative). Gossip colours subsequent interactions.

In my many years dealing directly with people in relation to discrimination or harassment cases, often the first response of the person being investigated was  “I was just kidding around – can’t they take a joke?”  Yes, it has given rise to accusations of the fun police or political correctness gone wrong – but in the main, the jokes are not funny and actually hurt people.

And when the culture of gossip, harassment and bullying is not addressed in a workplace, it expands. It becomes the norm. It affects productivity. It creates turnover. It creates illness.

That is why in a workplace, managers have to take explicit action. But what about in something as wonderfully free as the internet?

If you are a parent, you will have heard about cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying has been defined as “when the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person”. It “may also include threats, sexual remarks, pejorative labels (i.e. hate speech), ganging up on victims by making them the subject of ridicule in forums, and posting false statements as fact aimed at humiliation.”

As a parent you lecture your kids about the dangers of cyber-bullying. We worry about the potential implications if our child is bullied or a bullier. We read the stories about suicides and self-harm after cyber-bullying incidents. And we want our schools to take direct action if there is any cyber-bullying between students.

So, at what point does it become OK to cyber-bully others over the net. Is it when the kids turn 18 or when we become parents ourselves?

Is it when someone goes into the public eye as compared to being at home?

Is it when someone does something, says something or achieves something that it is ok to carp, criticise or otherwise “slag off” at them?

At what point is it OK for us to tell our kids not to do something, and then do it ourselves?

In my silence I have observed my own behaviour – and haven’t been OK with what I have seen. There have been days when I have posted my anger or annoyance at someone or something. Would I say that same thing to someone’s face? I am ashamed to say, “No”.

Now, this is not meant as a post to belt up on haters online. But more a suggestion to stop and take a look around. And see if this behaviour is OK with you.

Me, I prefer not to be an angry or bitchy SOB. I prefer to not add hate into the world. And I prefer to be a better role model for my kids. So I will be making some changes in how I respond to things.

Perhaps Grandma was right all along. If you don’t have something good to say – don’t say anything at all.

exuberantly yours

Ingrid

Heart Harmony – We put your business into words

Over the past few weeks, we have released a pile of free stuff to help businesses. It seemed like a useful idea to put all of them together in the one blog post, in case you have missed anything.

Performance Appraisal Forms

This free pack contains 9 performance review forms, 2 probation review forms, self-evaluation forms, a record of conversation form and an employee warning form.

100 Exceptional Performance Appraisal Questions

If ever you have to do a performance review, you know that asking the right questions is the biggest battle. Here are 100 of them designed to cover pretty much every scenario.

Lessons from Leaders

This is the latest free product from Heart Harmony. A whole year’s worth of inspiration and reflection questions to help you challenge your thinking and grow your business. You get one Lesson from a Leader each week – each designed to make you think. Here is a sample …

This Week …

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.

Arnold Glasgow

This is the ultimate series of questions against which to test every business decision:

• is this decision right for all concerned,
• is the way we want to do it the right way,
• is this the right time?

Could you do with a weekly dose of inspiration? The subscribe to Lessons from Leaders.

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Brisbane  Copywriter

In retail, one of the rules is to periodically move stock around your store. People notice the change and suddenly see things that they overlooked before.

This rule can be applied to any business. Most businesses can benefit from moving things around and freshening up their look (while still keeping brand elements for consistency). Think about the girl on the Redhead matches – she has been periodically redesigned to keep her look in keeping with the times. The Coke logo has had the odd “tweak” and even Barbie has had more than one round of plastic surgery.

In the past fortnight, we have been undergoing a thorough branding review. Every one of our products has been re-edited, adjusted and polished to give a consistent look and feel. We also took the opportunity to add in even more value for each product.  And while we were at it, we launched a few new products into the market (with more to come).

So … what has had a facelift?

Instant HR Policies & Procedures

We have totally revamped our manual – basically shredding every page & re-writing from scratch to make it even more user-friendly.

We have added in new sections for Whistleblowers & Paid Parental Leave, and amended many of the sections to take into account legislative changes.  And … we added in a stack of new bonus articles!

Employee Performance Reviews: Tips, Templates & Tactics

Our Employee Performance Reviews has also had a makeover. Plus we added in transcripts of our MP3 training sessions, included some great bonus articles and added in 100 Performance Appraisal Questions.

Small Business Marketing Ideas

And then we launched our new product – Small Business Marketing Ideas – packed full of ways to grow your business offline, without spending a fortune.

But the makeovers were not just limited to our paid products. Here are three of our free products that all have had a freshen up in the past week.

Free on subscription to our newsletter

Free Performance Review Forms

Free performance appraisal questions

And over the next few weeks, there will even more surprises in store.

Now all of these changes didn’t cost the earth, although they did take dedicated time to make happen (and yes, they had been on my “To Do” list for about 2 years. The lesson for me was to physically book in time in my own diary. I needed to treat my business as if it was as important as my fabulous clients – and I needed to walk my talk. I needed to “Be my Brand”.

So – I hope you enjoy our new look!

exuberantly yours

Ingrid

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Brisbane Copywriter

Friday is the big day. We are making final adjustments to the code & testing everything.

What for?

On Friday morning we are launching the latest Heart Harmony e-book  “Small Business Marketing Ideas: How to Grow Your Business Offline in Minutes a Day Without Spending a Fortune“.

It is 154 A4 pages packed full of straight shooting content designed specifically for small and micro-businesses,  and we are pretty chuffed about how it has turned out!

So, I thought I would give you a sneak peak at a few things.

First, the cover designed by the lovely S’Roya Rose.

The cover of Small Business Marketing Ideas

And a couple of comments from previewers:

Small Business Marketing Ideas is one book that should be owned by absolutely anyone involved in a small business! In her latest book, Ingrid Cliff clearly details everything you need to consider when planning how to market your business, whether you have an online business, a ‘bricks and mortar’ business or a mixture of both. Although she covers every aspect you need to consider, she does so in a truly concise way, without all the extra ‘fluff’ that some other marketing books are filled with. It’s definitely an investment that anyone who’s serious about their small business should make.

Donna-Marie Coggins

www.Donna-MarieCoggins.com

Ingrid Cliff has turned the often confusing world of small business marketing into a useful checklist of simple concepts, thoroughly explored and explained without jargon or BS. Her commonsense approach goes beyond the obvious and offers real value if you want clarity on your marketing choices. I have a marketing degree and have worked with hundreds of talented business owners who need to be marketing savvy. If you want insights and ‘aha’ moments for your offline marketing, you couldn’t start in a better place!

Lisa Murray

Business Mentor, Revive Business Coaching

I am looking forward to sharing more about the book with you on Friday.

(Shhhhh! If you are on tonight’s free webinar http://businessbreakthroughmagic.com/ – you may be in for some early previews & surprises).

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Brisbane Copywriters

A few years back I came across this piece by Rev. David Ault. I love the questions he poses and each year ask myself these same questions.

Did I express love this year, real love?  The kind of love that doesn’t announce itself in flashy circumstances or structured conditions – but an authentic, quiet, internal love?  The kind of love that bubbles to the surface when I gaze at another with understanding, a love that places me in their shoes, granting freedom from judgment and deepening my compassion?  A philanthropic love that expresses because it simply feels compelled to, because it knows there is more than enough and everyone can benefit. If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my authentic loving.

Did I forgive this year, really forgive?  The kind of forgiveness that cracks open my heart, peeling away one more layer of righteous indignation, thus allowing my soul to breathe?  The kind of forgiveness that loosens my clinched fists held high at a situation so that I don’t enter into the next one with guarded mistrust?  The kind of forgiveness that comprehends there is a difference between understanding a behavioral choice and condoning it? If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my forgiving.

Did I stop this year, really stop?  The kind of stopping that can’t help but make me vulnerable by becoming more familiar with who I am without distraction, smoke screens, excuses or self-imposed numbing?  The kind of stopping that turns me, naked, towards my feelings, giving them permission to express?  No right or wrong – a stopping that simply lets me hear what I need to hear so that I can live more effectively?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better in allowing myself to stop.

Did I seek adventure this year, real adventure?  The kind of adventure that requires me to not only take a leap of faith off my cliff of familiarity but actually sends me back to get a running start?  The kind of adventure that shakes the dust off my capable but underused wings and gives them an opportunity to catch the gorgeous wind of change?  The kind of adventure that knows there is no outside safety net in this physical world, only an internal one?  The kind of adventure that shouts, “I choose to live fully!” If not, then I resolve to be and do better in seeking adventure.

Did I seek wellness this year, real wellness?  The kind of wellness that requires me to be fully conscious of what I put in my body – the kind of wellness that requires me to practice what I preach when it comes to self-love while understanding that the power to dissolve poor habits starts by simply choosing to change?  Wellness that says, “This is the only body you’ve got. Treat me with respect, praise me daily and honor me as the holy temple that I am?”  If not, then I resolve to be and do better in allowing wellness in my life.

Did I play this year, really play?  The kind of play that gives value to the heavenly activity of fun – knowing that fun is sacred, that play is the equivalent of work and that during play -renewal and relaxation usher in the newest ideas and the clearest choices for better manifestations?  Did I view play as a necessary life function and not a debatable luxury? If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my relationship to playing.

Did I set a goal and see it to completion this year, really complete it?  The kind of completion that lets the vibration of satisfaction and confidence in my abilities heal any opposing ideas of not being good enough?  Did I honor my life and its sacred purpose by utilizing my time with forward thinking and letting my mistakes be motivators not antagonists? Did I dissolve my insecurities and procrastination by understanding that my untapped genius has but one mode of expression and that is through idea, thought, word and action? If not, then I resolve to be and do better in setting and completing my goals.

Did I open myself up to learn this year, really learn? The kind of learning that entices me to enroll in being a student of life with thirst and enthusiasm? Did I set an intention for uncovering more of my potential, letting divine intellect eat from my plate and stepping deeper into the waters of wisdom?  Did I open a book, take a class, study a language, learn an instrument, write a poem, visit another culture?  Did I learn to surprise and thrill myself with the infinite capacity I have to master more than I thought I could?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better on my personal path of learning.

Did I clean up my relationships this year, really clean them up?  The kind of cleaning that requires me to break open the lock, pull back the curtain, throw open the window and start removing the dust of harsh words, grudges, false accusations and misguided choices that have layered my heart?  Did I make amends for the fearful ways that disheartened another, for neglecting to honor their point of view?  With careful examination, did I communicate my truth, understanding that sometimes all we may be able to do is agree to disagree and to do so without judgement or malice?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better on cleaning up my relationships.

Did I share my good this year, really share?  The kind of sharing that comes from the pure joy of seeing another succeed, not from what I think they can or will do for me in return?  Did I tithe back to where I was spiritually fed, transformed and inspired?  Did I practice random acts of kindness and give of my time, talent, and treasure realizing that my good is a part of a never-ending wellspring that cannot run dry – whose source is and always will be the infinite wellspring of the Divine?  Did I commit to walking the altruistic path, remembering that every step brings healing and enlightenment to the world?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my sharing.

Did I pray this year, really pray?  The kind of prayer that is spoken not to God but AS God – prayers that affirm rather than beseech, are pregnant with knowing rather than bloated with doubt?  Did I make my every day activities a prayer – realizing that every thought I think carries with it the responsibility of an effect on the world?  Did I remember how truly powerful my own prayer actually is and that by simply devoting myself to the practice of it, I become the change?   Did I remember that my prayer takes what I seek and introduces it to me, the seeker?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better with praying.

Did I do all these things because deep down inside I fully understand how precious I am and that these activities will help me to see that I am held in the light as a perfect idea?  Did I remember that I have been perfectly conceived and am always held in the perfect mind of God as perfect being?  Did I know that there is nothing that I can ever say, nothing I can ever do that will separate me from the love of God? If for any reason, I forgot my divinity this year, then I resolve to be and do better in my knowing of it, to fully understand and embody the truth that it is done unto me as I believe.  And I believe in the power of Good, for me, for you, for all.

(c) Rev. David Auld

May your New Year be safe, fun and full of love.

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance Copywriter