What would you do differently?
April 8th, 2010 by Ingrid Cliff
My dad is 80, and has lived a very full and successful life as a scientist and University Lecturer. But like many kids, until recently I had not had much conversation with my dad about his hopes and dreams for his life when he was growing up. It is funny how we assume our parents spring fully grown and are happy with their lot in life.
Last week while we were waiting for dad to head in for another round of heart surgery, we spent a few quiet hours in conversation. This time we talked about what he had dreamed he would be when he grew up – a journalist it turns out. And why he didn’t follow his dream, and moved into science instead. We talked about what his experience of school was like – not particularly a great experience thanks to some very abusive Christian Brothers. We also talked about his relationships – what worked and what didn’t.
Dad is a brilliant story teller, and many was the moment when I had tears in my eyes from laughing at tales of Claude the lab lion who used to tackle dad around the ankles as he walked past; and his university pranks that these days would put him behind bars. I also learnt of the untold story of how my grandfather, who was head of one of the RAAF Airforce bases, thought they were sinking a midget sub off the coast of NSW during the war – only to discover they had sunk a very surprised whale.
But the questions were not all one way. The biggest question he asked was if we had our time over again, knowing what we know now, what job would we do now? What career would we follow? What would we do differently?
These are brilliant questions, and ones we forget to ask ourselves as we travel through life. Life passes so swiftly – in a blink of an eye it is gone. We need to make sure that we live every moment to the maximum – that we are following the paths of our heart.
Dad is due for another round of more complex heart surgery in 5 weeks time and you can be sure that there will be many more questions and quiet discussions in the interim. I am truly valuing his insights and wisdom (and humour).
So what would you answer? Would you choose the same job? What would you do differently if you had another go at life? What would it take for you to do this now?
Ingrid Cliff
We put your business into words
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 8th, 2010 at 4:31 pm and is filed under Heart Harmony. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 9th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Hello in there, dear Ingrid.
You know, I had read only as far as the title to that blog when I was already thinking my answer through. Once upon a time, that question would have triggered a list of “things I could have done better”- a very LONG list! Happily, I have somehow found a place in Life where I am truly content.
I still have days where I wish that I could be a little more focused, more efficient, but that simply is not me. I’ve learnt what I can about how to become more-so, I’ve become more-so where I was able, and now I just sit back and breath slowly and think “Well… that’s all ok, really”.
It took me many years to learn to be true to myself, but the mistakes I’ve made have been useful lessons. If I hadn’t made those mistakes, the lessons wouldn’t have held my interest so profoundly, and perhaps I would have overlooked the teaching!
If a person is true to themself, I think regrets have less of a place in one’s ponderings. Reflection, certainly, but regret, not so very much.
Best wishes to you and yours,
Linnie x