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“Do you get seasick?” Not exactly the sort of question you expect from an optometrist fitting you for frames. “Because if you do, you might want to put in a stock of seasick pills”.

“Oh. Great!”  I muttered. You see, I had finally succumbed. My arms were no longer long enough to hold my books, and my computer screen was sitting on another desk beyond arms length. I had to get bifocals (in my parlance) or multifocal lenses according to the optometrist.

They showed me mocked up pictures of what my vision would be like with different priced lenses.  I plumped for the ones that cost the national debt of a third world country in the vague hope the seasickness wouldn’t be too extreme.

The day finally arrived and the disgustingly chirpy young assistant popped the new glasses onto my head. “Can you read this” she asked thrusting a cardboard document in my hands. “Well I would be able to if the words stopped dancing around like Britney Spears”.

“Don’t worry- it will settle down in a few days. But until it does, don’t drive with them on, watch out so you don’t walk into walls and whatever you do, don’t walk down stairs with them on. Oh … and don’t go back to your old glasses, it will make the inevitable transition twice as long”.

“Oh goodie” I thought “I’m moving into the ground floor of my house for a few weeks and walking everywhere”.

For those of you young enough not to need multifocals let me explain what it is like.You are supposed to move your head like a laughing clown to try and find the right focus point on your glasses when you look around. No longer the joy of simply reading a broadsheet newspaper – I now looked like a baby bird trying to find its mother on each page.  When you look out of the side of your lenses, you get the same experience as when you look into the mirrors on Coney Island – everything is slightly warped (and not in a good way).

So how is it going? Well the first day everything was peachy – I did everything I was supposed to and felt right chuffed with myself that I had survived. Piece of cake.

Day 2 and things went downhill. My eyes rebelled much like a kid who loves their first day at school, only to cry on day 2 when reality set in. Yes, I do get seasick. So for the past week a ginger beer bottle has been my constant companion in the vain hope of fending off the woozy feeling.

As the days clicked over, I now have moments of clarity when my fingers can once again find the right keys on the computer keyboard, and the screen looks once again normal. Yes, these moments are increasing in duration, but my eyes need a nanna nap every afternoon in order to be able to survive the evening. I am exhausted by the end of each day. And I forgot to take off my new glasses when I climbed the ladder and hopped onto the roof to install the Christmas lights – made the experience more terrifying than the big thrill rides at Dreamworld, but hey the lights look great!

Yes, there have been times when I have dropped back into using the old glasses in order to meet a particularly pressing deadline – but they are reducing in frequency.  I know by going back to old habits things will take longer – but reality steps in and clients come first.

Seeing the world through different eyes is much like learning any new skill. You start with conscious incompetence where you know you have absolutely no clue what you are doing. You then move onto conscious competence where you have some vague control over your new skills (as long as you concentrate really really hard). You finally move onto unconscious competence, where you now know what you are doing and don’t have to think about it in order to do it.

You have moments when you are a master and other moments when you crash and burn. You have to relearn how to do the simplest things, and everything takes twice as long as it used to. You burn with envy over people who cheerily tell you they were perfect first go, and you fantasise about giving up (but know you never will). Every skill worth learning has a similar journey. But it is learning from the journey that is the most useful part of the process.

Roll on unconscious competence I say. Until then … yes I will be a tad slower and there will be more typos than normal … but the end result will be worth it.  And if you see me looking like a bobble head toy at that local shops when I am trying to read a price ticket …  pop over …  pat my hand … and remind me that in a few days this will all be but a memory.

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance writer

Baby orphaned fruit bat

Have you noticed how over the last 50 years or so that people’s thoughts about local wildlife has changed? Not too long ago people hunted the wild animals of South Africa for sport (and to get rid of annoying animals who had the temerity to get angry when humans encroached on their territory).  These days most South African countries only survive through eco-tourism – people travelling vast distances to see wildlife in their native habitat.

Watching the annual migration of hump-back whales has become a national pass-time in Australia, and hand feeding wild dolphins one of the top tourist attractions in Brisbane. Swimming with white pointer sharks in South Australia and hunting crocodiles in Kakadu with cameras is another favourite tourist experience.

Last night we went on another animal experience – a Batty Boat Cruise run by the Queensland Wildlife Preservation Society. This cruise up the Brisbane river wound its way up to one of the main fruit bat roosts at Indooroopilly Island, to watch the evening fly out at dusk. It was accompanied by expert commentators who shared their knowledge of the local area, and fruit bats/microbats in particular.

Fruit bats have copped a lot of bad press lately. Many towns hate fruit bats and do everything possible to “move them on” or kills them (in some states). Fruit farmers hate fruit bats who do what they naturally do – eat fruit. People are terrified of them – thinking they are full of disease such as the Hendra virus – even though there is no known transmission of Hendra from fruitbats to humans.

What people forget is that without fruit bats most of Australia’s trees and many of our native wildlife would die. Every single last koala eucalypt that has grown wild is only there because a fruit bat helped its pollination. Kill the fruit bats and you doom our already endangered koalas.

Microbats are some of the tiniest bats, and eat up to 1000 mosquitoes  an hour – they are nature’s natural pest controllers. Kill them and the mosquito population will explode.

The thing both my kids and I loved most about the batty cruise wasn’t the bat fly out (which was spectacular), it was seeing the many carers of orphaned fruit bats on the cruise. There were babies from one tiny premature fruit bat (it didn’t have it’s eyes open and full term fruit bats are born with open eyes), through to rambunctious toddlers who took great delight in exploring nearby stair rails and other carers.

We were not allowed to touch these babies, but just watching their need and love of cuddles and affection it was hard to marry this with the hatred many people feel towards fruit bats.  They are 100% cute and adorable – with little possum like faces and eyes that peer deep into your own.

Like many human babies, fruit bats need dummies to suckle, as they spend the first part of their life attached to their mothers teat, and just like human babies they cry if they lose their dummy.

Just like human babies, their bat mothers form a strong bond with their baby – often returning the next few nights to the same place they lost their baby to call for them and to try and find their lost babies.

Most orphaned bats come about because the mother was electrocuted by power lines, or caught on barbed wire fences. If you see a dead fruit bat in October – January, call the Bat Rescue Helpline on 0488 228 134 and they will send a volunteer to check for any babies. Without our help these babies face a slow agonising death.

If you are in Brisbane, going on a Batty Boat Cruise will be one of the most enlightening things you will do.  I guarantee you will never look at fruit bats the same way again. Us … we are hooked. If we didn’t have our office cats, we would happily take on the role of orphan bat carers. They are truly beautiful and amazing creatures!

Hanging around with a baby fruit bat

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance Writer

I am still on my car theme … a few weeks back when I was looking through my car’s log books I had one of those smack on the side of the head, lightbulb going off moments. I realised my car had had better maintenance than my body ever had.

Every few months because a little sticker on my windscreen told me to, my car went off to get checked, adjusted and sorted – no questions asked. But for some reason every year when I was due for an annual physical check-up I always managed to find other reasons not to do them.

Sure, I saw an acupuncturist (thanks Charmaine from Banskis Healing Centre) and chiropractor (Arana Chiropractic) every month to help manage the damage on my body of having my computer hot-wired into my veins, but orthodox medicine check-ups sort of had fallen by the wayside.

So with trepidation I booked a complete series of appointments, sort of like one of the “big” car services where your car is in for a full day and emerges with your wallet significantly lighter for the experience. Dentist – check, optometrist – check, doctor – check, mole scan – check, pathologist – check. I understand from speaking with each specialist that this is a common problem for business owners -they tend to look after everyone else before themselves.

And the result? Well mostly positive. All the core systems are working beautifully but the peripherals need a bit of work. From next week I will be wearing the new graduated lenses (bi-focals in the old school) – and I have a stock of ginger tablets on hand to deal with any sea-sick feeling.  Seeing the computer clearly will certainly help but I am not too excited about learning to see in a new way!

I’m also booked in for some day surgery to remove 4 rather nasty  looking moles. In Queensland skin cancers are an unfortunate by-product of our love of the sun, so these ones need to be dealt with promptly and skin checks done annually (I missed a year – doh!).

I am now on every bring-up system for each specialist, so can expect to see wonderful reminder letters popping into my letterbox and this time I will act on them. After all – surely a car’s maintenance is not as important as looking after my own health.

So … for your own health … does your car get more attention than you do?

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance copywriter

Last weekend I went looking for a new car. I had narrowed it down to a Mazda 6 or a Camry after my usual many hours on the net researching all the ins and outs. I packed the kids into our car and headed out to visit the car yards.

Given my initial preference to the Mazda, we started there first.  As we entered the yard we were met by a keen young salesperson, who did a great job of showing us the different models before quickly narrowing down what we were after.  He was selling beautifully till he sat us down. We told him we wanted to buy in the next week, we would be paying cash and wanted his best price so we could make a decision which way to go – Camry or Mazda. He wandered off to see the boss, came back and told us that he wouldn’t give us a price now as we were not serious, but when we were serious next week to come back and see him.  He gave us a rough ballpark figure on the new car with the options we were looking for (after being pressed for the info).

We then moved onto the Toyota dealership. As my kids said, they could hear the crickets chirruping when we went onto the lot. The cars were very untidy – and had not been detailed for a while. New cars were jumbled next to used cars and it was almost impossible to work out which cars were available. We walked into the massive office and stood looking lost at the front desk. The office girl was on the phone and deliberately turned her back to us. We stood and stood. We wandered over to dealers sitting at desks, who studiously avoided our gaze. One kept reading his book while drinking his coffee.

So we then decided to sit in the demonstrator car in front of his desk, and took great joy in adjusting things, opening and closing doors and boots. After 10 minutes someone came over “Are you right”.  “Well actually we want to buy a car”. He was of the “don’t speak until are spoken to” school of sales, so every piece of information was drawn out of him as if he was on the rack. He did share that they had a deal on at present and what the deal included. It sounded good. But he then handed us a brochure and told us to call him when we wanted to buy before ushering us out the door.

OK – by now I was starting to get a complex. I mean I had told each of the salesmen “I want to buy a car. I would be paying cash.” All they needed to do was convince me of their product.

Enter car yard three. We went to a different Toyota dealer as the youngest child wanted to re-check the fabric on the seats. (She has a thing about soft fabric car seats). A very different experience. We were met when we walked onto the lot and seamlessly passed onto the new car salesman, who seamlessly called in his boss (given it was the salesman’s first week on the job this was understandable). In this yard the cars were detailed, even if there was the same jumble of new/used cars.

Both had a beautiful sales process, running through a series of trial closes removing any objections in the process, before moving into a final close. (Occupational hazard – I watch the process more than I listen to the words). It was a slick sales process without being slimy.They clarified the details of the special, double checking the facts as the previous Toyota person had misunderstood what was actually included in the new model car as a standard (and not optional) feature.

The people took the time to sell, listened to our buying clues (by then we had them painted in red 12 foot high letters), made no assumptions on our seriousness or otherwise of purchase, removed objections to buying then and there and as a result we bought the Camry from the third car yard.

As we were driving home, the Mazda salesman rang us to ask what we thought of the Camry and when he could book us in for another visit. I took great delight in letting him know we had bought the Camry and wouldn’t be needing his services.

What are the lessons? Well the most obvious one is how poorly trained most salespeople really are – they need to improve their skills if they really want to sell. Businesses also need to look at the simple things – how are people greeted, tidiness of their properties, and basic amenities.

What has your experience been with car dealers?

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance Writer

Bright Star kids Christmas Tree Wall Art

One of the great things about my job is I get to work with a range of brilliant clients who have really innovative products and ideas. One of my newer clients is Bright Star Kids.

The funny thing  is I have been a client of theirs for the past few years as I really love their personalised school book labels and pencil labels. They are the only pencil labels that lasted the distance with my two cherubs.

When I was writing for them this month, the team showed me their newest fantastic product. A massive stick-on wall Christmas tree. You just find a bare wall, and then peel and stick the tree and colourful decorations.

Why would you do that? Well, I can remember when my kids were little, the traditional tree just didn’t work as they were constantly pulling bits off and putting them into their mouths (my puppy did the same thing a few years later).  I wish I had had this tree back then. It is truly gorgeous!

I can easily see this stick on christmas tree in daycares, prep classrooms, doctors surgeries, even tiny apartments. Add a bit of whiteboard texta to each bauble and then each kid can have their name on a decoration. Its one of those “what a great idea” type products.

And no … there has been no payment for this blog post and no commission for any sales … I just love the product and the people behind it.

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance writer

As regular readers will know, I have been brushing up my internet marketing skills with James Schramko. It has been a wild ride, learning lots of great new techniques and strategies. One of my favourite has been the creation of single page websites designed to drive traffic to your own website, or towards your favourite products sold by other people (for a commission).

The software he has in his program to create these sites is amazing. I now have it down to 20 minutes from a blank sheet of paper with no writing on it, to a published site. And while the sites they create look very simple and plain, looks can be deceiving. There is a heck of a lot of complex research, SEO and coding going on in the background.

The other thing I have learnt is the importance of “getting something out there” and refining as you go. It is better to have a 75% site launched, than a 100% site still in development 6 months later.

And let me tell you creating sites once you know how is more addictive than scrapbooking!

So … what do the sites look like? Well here are a few for my sites, as well as sites sending traffic to a few of my favourite management and training products on the net.

• Management training by the book
• Performance Appraisals
• Employee Performance Review Tips
• Online management courses
• Stress Management Training
• Presentation Skills Training Course

Check them out. I’m off to tackle the next few on my list!

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance copywriter

Yesterday I visited a business colleague and friend of many years in their new office space. The VM Group provides great training in Brisbane Australia on topics ranging from leadership through to time management. Reay and the team are also known for their creativity and innovative thinking, so when they were looking for office space for their training rooms, they put on their creative thinking caps.

You see, in this part of the world office space is at a premium (literally). If you want a large space that is reasonably priced, close to the city and has a pleasant outlook, then the proverbial needle in the haystack  is easier to find. Reay also knew this, but he also knew his local soccer club was struggling. They had great grounds and fantastic facilities, but patron numbers had dropped away in recent times. So Reay organised a creative alliance – he leased the entire ground floor of the club for his company. The top floor remains the dressing rooms and other facilities for the club, but the ground level is now the VM group’s home.

This is a brilliant example of win-win. The club has increased security through the week as people are coming and going for training, combined with a regular income. Reay and the team get fantastic facilities with a lovely green outlook at a great rate. The space is big enough for a large training room with three smaller rooms (including video cameras so role plays could be filmed), plus a few break out areas for group work. And it is only 5 minutes from the CBD! Yes, the VM Group also let others use their training facilities when they are not running a course, so the creative sharing of space continues.

As I was driving home I suddenly saw all of the golf clubs, bowls clubs, football clubs, PCYC’s etc with a new set of eyes. Each of them had the potential for creative alliances such as the one the VM Group organised.  Love clever thinkers!

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance Writer

Every year I do a few weeks of professional development to hone my skills. This year I have been completing some online internet courses – the Thirty Day Challenge with Ed Dale.   I do this one every year to keep current on the latest internet marketing trends (and it is free to do during August each year).

Myself, James Schramko & Donna-Marie Coggins

I have also been studying with James Schramko – one of the good guys of internet marketing. One of his courses I have been taking is the Underground Profit System which I have to say has been brilliant. It is a series of 8 videos with really comprehensive information about websites and traffic that I hadn’t heard elsewhere (and you won’t break the bank doing them). Even if I didn’t get an affiliate fee for recommending James’s course I would be telling all my friends about it … it is that good!

Now if you’re like me you need to lock yourself away in a darkened room for a couple of days to work with new material. My kids joke that when I am studying I descend into my cave like a hermit, only periodically opening the door to get coffee and food and then scuttling away again, while muttering about things like domains, links and traffic. This isolated state lasts until the last DVD is played and I have had a few days applying what I have learnt.

The application is the most important bit. Unless I apply some of what I studied in the few days after the course, the  course material becomes the online equivalent of a treadmill sitting in the lounge room draped with clothes and good intentions.

So the past few days I have been living in my bunker and have had some great aha moments – like how to find fantastic domain names, different website models for businesses, brilliant tools for market research (that don’t cost a cent), places to source great products, how to have videos on your site (and not crush your bandwidth), simple ways to split test to see which headlines/content gets the best results, and places to get CDs & DVDs replicated for next to nothing.

I also had a massive whack on the side of the head in relation to some simple systems to keep tabs on my website information. I knew where I could find (sort of) which company my domain name was registered with, and who hosts my websites, but passwords and expiry dates of the subscriptions? This super simple one pager put it all together for me in a super-organised way. I now have all my website details and many domains (including all my kids names .com.au and .coms) in the one folder, neatly sorted.

But my hands-down favourite bit of James’s course has been the software. Last night I put together and published 3 simple websites in 2 hours which would have taken me an entire day to do otherwise.  There would have been more but the thunderstorm meant the computer had to turn off. Now you have to remember I have some net knowledge which makes things a bit easier, but in my view even newbies to the net would be able to quickly get a great result.

Why am I telling you this? In business we need to keep on top of new developments. We need to take regular time out to sharpen our saw (as Covey would say), to learn new things and new ways of approaching our business.  When was the last time you took time out to study?  Yes, we are all busy and yes I have a mountainous backlog of emails and so on to tackle today … but it is worth it!

… And if you want to learn more about websites and the net – the two courses I have mentioned are worth doing.

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance copywriter

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…

For some time I have been grappling with the concept of having a live answering service. You see, I love to be accessible to my clients, but when I am deep in thought or writing then I let the phone go through to our message bank. Having an phone answering service seemed like a great idea, until a friend of mine told me of her experience yesterday.

You see, she wanted to get in touch with her excavator operator. When she called the phone went through to what she now knows was a call answering service.

For starters they go the name of the company wrong, and when she asked if to speak with with the excavator guy, the operator fumbled around – not sure if the guy worked for that company.  Once he finally was encouraged to check his piece of paper and found out who his client was, he spun into desperation – ranting about the company, how he was only new at the job and hadn’t been trained correctly.

Now remember, all my friend wanted to do was leave her name and number, but instead she ended up making “there, there” noises to a near suicidal phone operator who had no idea who his clients were.  It would have made a hilarious recording (unless of course your business happened to be the excavator one and you were paying for a small business answering service).

Another professional colleague found her lovely local answering service had outsourced their services to India. She only discovered this fact after many of her clients complained about the difficulty in leaving a message with the operator due to their broken English (and after many messages about calls had not been forwarded).

But answering machines and message banks are not immune from problems. I have lost count of the bored and depressed cell phone voice messages I have listened to – people sound like they really hate their job which makes me question if I really want to leave my details.

Others struggle with pronouncing their own name without an um or an ah while sounding like Bob Hawke on a bad day, while some are premature message recorders – ratting off the message as if they were calling the Melbourne Cup.

Then of course you have the children’s TV presenter message banks, with very forced cheerfulness and extreme pronunciation of every letter.

The bottom line is all businesses need to periodically call their phone system and hear what their customers hear. Get a few people to try it out for you and tell you what they think.  It may be very enlightening.

Until next time

Ingrid Cliff

We put your business into words

Heart Harmony – Freelance Writer

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…