This week we have a guest article by long-term reader of this newsletter Debbie Moore. Debbie has a Bachelor of Laws (don't hold that against her) and is one of the best proof readers in the business, with her business www.pickyproofreader.com.au. I personally like how she doesn't tsk at my typos and just quietly and ever so politely makes suggestions.
There’s usually one in every crowd. As a new comer to a work place, in a social circle or even a Boardroom, it only takes a few minutes to work out who in the group is everybody’s friend. Give it a few minutes and you’ll also start to feel a desireto be their friend too. How does this almost mystical ability develop and can you do it too?
Of course you can! However, it’s not for the faint hearted and it takes practice and patience. Being popular requires gaining the favor or good will of the group in which you are interacting. If everybody is different, how on earth are you going to connect with each person?
There are quite a few books out there which would be happy to suggest a multitude of different techniques. However, the three suggestions below may be implemented immediately and you’ll be surprised at the positive results.
At the very core of all of us is a need to share ourselves. People desperately want to share their problems, their successes, their losses and their winnings.
People want to talk about themselves and, most importantly, they want to be listened to. They don’t want the listener forming a statement in their own mind three words into what they want to share. They don’t want to feel worse or better because you have a counter situation to talk about. They don’t, necessarily, even want solutions to the problems they’re sharing with you.
What they do want is to feel listened to and understood. If your audience wants your advice or wants to know if something similar has ever happened to you – they will ask! In the mean time – practice listening.
People also need to trust you. If you often find yourself talking to a colleague about what happened to Joe or Mary or Kate the other day – you might want to practice biting your tongue. People won’t trust you with their secrets if they see you sharing other people’s secrets.
Trust is earned by ensuring that you do what you’ll say you’ll do. If you promise to bring in a cake on Friday – bring in the cake on Friday. If you’ve made a commitment to have lunch with Sue – have lunch with Sue, even if it means working back an extra hour to get the work done. Do what you say you will do and people will learn that they can depend on you – this is what trust is all about.
One last suggestion focuses on attitude. Do you walk into a room smiling and looking at people in the eye? Or do you walk in with an indifferent expression and seek comfort in the chair furthest away from the front row? Are you generally happy when you’re out and about in the world, or is your glass half empty and the grass is so much greener for everybody else?
The way you present yourself to other people will affect how they respond. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to not smile at somebody if they are smiling at you? Just as laughter is infectious, so are smiles and so is attitude. If you’re happy and positive with the world in general, this will rub off onto your colleagues and your friends and it will be a delight to spend time with you.
Practice applying the three suggestions above and you’ll be pleasantly surprised as to how many people will start to want to be your friend.
HR Tip of the Week: Exit Interviews are Wasted on People Leaving
It’s the last day of work at your current place of employment and all you want to do is to pack up your favorite coffee mug and move on. Then, suddenly, a very friendly HR professional appears at your desk and wonders if they could just have a few minutes of your time for an exit interview. Trapped, you agree and then are required to spend 20 minutes explaining why you’re leaving. What do you think the average employee is going to say in that situation?
In 90% of the cases they murmur vague platitudes as they don't want to burn their bridges. If they do tell you something useful about the culture or the manager, then when you inform management they put it down to sour grapes and ignore it.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the exit interview before you’ve lost one of your most valuable resources? Instead of asking all the questions after someone has decided to leave, it makes more sense to ask their opinions when they’re happy doing what their doing and where they are doing it.
The answers you’ll receive will give you insight into what your staff most value, what makes them happy with their role and what opportunities they perceive that would make the company more profitable. The added bonus to conducting these types of interviews before the very last day, is that they’ll feel that they are contributing and that their opinions are valuable. As Thomas Dewey once said:
“The greatest needs of human nature are to feel important, to be recognized and be appreciated.”
Don’t wait until it’s too late to implement a simple 20 minute meeting with one of your most valuable commodities – your staff.
Few people in the world haven't heard of Richard Branson. If you have read his first books "Losing My Virginity" and "Screw it, Let's Do It", you know he writes in an accessible and easy to read style.
This is Richard Branson's latest book and looks purely at the business lessons he has learnt from both the good times and the setbacks. He shares his thoughts on other leaders including Nelson Mandela and Steve Jobs and also his thoughts on doing business in a global economy.
Blood. Gore. Tragedy. No - not the latest Hollywood blockbuster. Just another car safety message. The problem is that these sorts of ads no longer work like they used to. In this post I share an ad the NSW government used to effectively curb young male speeders - without a drop of blood in sight.
Legal stuff: This newsletter is intended only a general guideline for Australian businesses. You should seek specific advice for your situation rather than relying only on this newsletter
Earnings disclaimer. Some of the content may include advertorial information, which means I may receive financial compensation for the products I recommend. But - unless I know and trust the product, I will not recommend it.
Thank you! It means a lot to me to hear that. I remember meeting you many years back through LCI. You always had passion, drive and enthusiasm for people and I am sure you bring those qualities with you to your life coaching practice. Hope all is brilliantly successful in your world.
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In 90% of the cases they murmur vague platitudes as they don't want to burn their bridges. If they do tell you something useful about the culture or the manager, then when you inform management they put it down to sour grapes and ignore it. 
