Beating Back to Work Post Baby Blues

Here are my top 7 tips for returning to paid work after your baby.

1.           Guilt, guilt and more guilt

When you give birth to your child, most mothers also give birth to guilt.  Every script in your head from the past about what a “perfect mother should and shouldn’t do” will come into play.

Write out a page on “what a perfect mother should and shouldn’t do” to access the scripts or beliefs in your head. Read the list back and then work out if anyone alive could possibly live up to your list. Then write another page on “a good enough mother does and doesn’t do”, in order to create a more balanced set of beliefs.

2.           Nappy brain

Nappy brain is a scientifically proven condition of new mothers, which causes vagueness and instantly forgetting what was said to you. In your first weeks back at work, always carry a small notebook to jot reminders of your actions and tasks (mine also included people’s names including my own and my kids as I was very sleep deprived).

Nappy brain also causes irrational fear that you no longer have anything worthwhile to contribute at work, that everyone suddenly got smarter than you while you were away and a fear that people are judging you because you are a working mother. 

Start by reminding yourself of all the things that you have done over your past career and reread your resume. Yes, you are a mother now, but you also have a wealth of experience behind you.

3.           Childcare

If you want childcare for your baby, you need to register at a number of childcare centres very early on in your pregnancy.  I personally did the pregnancy test, registered at my preferred centre and then rang my then husband (in that order). If you don’t register early, you are likely to find suitable care hard to find.

4.           Your clothing

I didn’t buy anything other than black or dark colours, preferably with patterns and that didn’t require ironing or dry cleaning for at least 2 years after the birth of my children. It had nothing to do with looking slimming – it was all to do with hiding vegemite fingerprints and leaking breast milk, which all detract from a professional image.

Another key tip is to get a fantastic maternity bra.  Even with this bra (usually the cost of the national debt in USA) expect breast pads to pop up out of the collar of your business suit at the most embarrassing moments. Etiquette for this is to quietly pick it up and put it in your pocket.  Tucking it back in your bra is considered bad form.

5.           Your briefcase

If you need a briefcase for work buy a double-sided briefcase. Use one side for work items and the other for the assorted things from your children like dolls, spare dummies, notes from childcare etc. 

Why? I had a high-powered meeting one day, opened my single sided briefcase only to remember that my baby had had a messy nappy on the way in to work. I had changed the nappy on the side of the road and popped the dirty nappy into my bag thinking I would dispose of it before the meeting. The other attendees couldn’t help but notice the nappy in my now open bag. We did without the files that meeting.

6.           Expressing yourself

Yes … you can combine breastfeeding with work. The main difficulty in expressing is the noise of the pump (either mechanical or manual).  All make wonderful squelchy sucking noises, which if your office has thin walls can be off-putting for people on the other side. 

Storing the milk can be another challenge.  Until I discovered breast milk bags I used to use baby bottles.  One staff member had unusual tasting coffee, after using the expressed milk as the normal milk carton had run out.  Key tip here is label very clearly and in big letters or buy the bags from the chemist.

7.           Sleep

Sleep deprivation is a killer of productivity – so put yourself to bed at the same time as the kids at night (so you can grab a few extra hours sleep), only do essential housework for a while until everyone gets into the swing of things and ASK FOR HELP from your partner, friends and relatives.  This is often the hardest part for working career women, as they usually try to do it all on their own. You do not need to be superwoman – use this time to learn to delegate, set limits or personal boundaries and learn that it is OK for you not to do everything.

Transitioning back to work can be challenging, but it can be also a time of amazing personal growth. Enjoy the journey!

Ingrid Cliff is a Brisbane Freelance Copywriter with her company Heart Harmony www.heartharmony.com.au.