That little "aha" moment 

One of the questions that I get asked a lot is “how long will it take (for me to be happy, to be to be at peace, for me to change my behaviour, for me to reach my goal….)  My answer is “instantaneously”.  I usually get a few puzzled looks at this answer.  So what do I mean?  It doesn’t matter how much lead up time, reading or study you have done, it is only in one little instant that the lightbulb goes on and you suddenly “know” the answer to what you are seeking. 

I see it all the time with my clients.  They could have been grappling with an issue for days or even months and then all of a sudden they “get it”, they understand the cause of their behaviour, the reason for their unhappiness and the way out.  I see them go inwards for a split second, a look of puzzlement crosses their face closely followed by a look of wonder.  They now know what they didn’t know before.  Often they see a choice that they didn’t see before – a choice to be happy, a choice to let go of a limiting belief or a choice to take an action. In a split second their understanding of themselves has changed and their behaviour changes to match.

But how can that be?  It isn’t as if I have given them the answer, so how do they know?  Some people would suggest that all the pre-discussion and reflection was preparing new neurone pathways in the brain and the moment of “knowing” was the completion of the circuit.  Others would suggest that their higher self or guide or higher being “told” them in that moment.  Whatever the reason, they now “know”. 

Once you know something you cannot “unknow it”.  Your brain is like a rubber band – it expands the more it is stretched and it never returns to exactly the same size as before. So how can you increase your “aha” moments?  From my experience the aha moments come best during periods of relaxation and calm.  A few years ago the “Magic Eye” drawings were all the rage.  Can you remember those pictures made up of little dots and blurred lines?  When you could relax your eyes and see past the dots and lines, you suddenly saw a 3-D image appear.  If you forced your eyes to try to find it, you could never see it.  If you told yourself “I can never see these things” – you never could.  This is a perfect metaphor for learning – you learn best when you know that you can learn and you are relaxed enough to let yourself “know”.

Tips to get past “aha” blocks

Here are some strategies to help you to get past your “aha” blocks by finding a way past the logical gatekeeper in your brain.  Sleeping on a problem is a tried and true method of finding solutions (so you now have permission to take that power nap!).  You could also do something creative such as painting or drawing to take away the pressure to “find the solution”.  People are returning to knitting and craft work such as scrapbooking in droves – it gives them something to do with their hands and the active part of their brain while the answers to their concerns can bubble up to the surface. Meditation is also a great solution – calming the “monkey mind” to allow space between the thoughts to emerge.  Many religious people used to pray while they walked – a form of walking meditation to clear the mind.  I have heard runners also get into this space.  It is in this space that answers are found.

So why do the aha moments also come when you are talking with someone else?  I could suggest that it is my wonderfully calming personality, but the reality is that often the other person can help you to look at a situation in a totally different way.  It is like looking at the drawing which can be interpreted as an ugly old women or a beautiful girl with a fur coat, depending on which way you look at it.  Sometimes you need others to help point out what other ways there could be to look at a situation.  Think about the movie “The Sixth Sense” – the last few scenes make you rethink everything that you saw through the entire movie.  Sometimes a good friend or coach can help you get into that sort of space.

I am not suggesting that knowing is the same as doing.  Just because you know something, doesn’t mean that you will be able to do something 100% of the time.  But in my mind, it is the first and most important step!

Ingrid Cliff is a Brisbane based Business Development and Human Resources Consultant to Small and Medium Businesses with her company Heart Harmony www.heartharmony.com.au.